Dad and Uncle
Sometimes and especially when I am walking, I hear from my father, my Papi. I think it is because I am out in the open and don't have a lot of mind chatter going on. And I guess I would not say I "hear" from him but rather I "summon" him. He let me know that he cannot present himself unless I welcome him. This gave me relief because a person needs their privacy. Recently one of my favorite Uncle's passed away and before he died, I saw my dad sitting next to his bed watching over him. They were particularly close and dad would say to me "he's not ready yet".
Today, as I was walking I asked dad how it was "over there" and he said it was great, no worries, nothing to fight about, felt like he was when he was about 30 years old on earth. I asked how Uncle was doing and he said, "well, not so good yet, he's still mad about leaving his car and things even though I tell him he can't do a damn thing about that anymore, but he'll come around".
I said I don't know why exactly but this week I am cooking enchiladas with Uncle's chili from New Mexico, beans, tortillas, and Chili Verde and dad said, "well taste some for us". I asked him if he could come into me like in the movie "Ghosts" to have a taste and he said it was a lot of work for me but invite him sometime and we could try it. I only did this once and I don't advise this be done when you are driving like I was. I wanted him to hear and experience a song I was listening to so I "stepped" out and in he came and oh lordy, not good to have an out of body while driving but I was strangely in control and I cried feeling my Papi so close. He didn't stay long and told me not to do that again while driving.
When Papi first left, I "checked" in on him and his heart was broken to leave his "girls". I asked some friends of mine who have passed to come and help my dad get adjusted and they did.....they comforted him and helped him heal from his transition. Dad said mom invites him alot and we agreed she seemed to be doing pretty good but he said, "she don't eat enough" but he's happy my sister brings her goodies to eat and us other 2 sisters mail her goodies to eat.
So now I am out in the open, "woman who runs with ghosts". I believe we live in a parallel world of worlds and I am just ok to not question or analyze too much my ability to communicate. I checked this out with the Psychological Doctors a long time ago, several of them and I am ok. They recited all kinds of ancient beliefs, spiritual stuff, psychic stuff which I did not exactly understand but they assured me I was not crazy.....a garden variety neurotic I believe one said.
My friend Susanne, Pav, and Niven are my guides and friends "next door" and are more than willing to help those that transition. Hmmmm. Let's say I am networking prior to my next adventure. Susanne told me to look to the clouds and trees for her. Pav and Niven are just there like dad when I think of them.
My peace of mind here depends on my operating out of love and not fear and knowing that I have a friendly neighborhood to go to.
When I cry and tell dad I miss him, he says, "I know, but don't suffer too much, I am at peace".
